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Why Him? Why Her?: Understanding Your Personality Type and Finding the Perfect Match
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A groundbreaking book about how your personality type determines who you love.
Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world's leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types - Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator - and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type.
Until now, the search for love has been blind, but Fisher pulls back the curtain and reveals how we unconsciously go about finding the right match. Drawing on her unique study of 40,000 men and women, she explores each personality type in detail and shows you how to identify your own type. Then she explains why some types match up well, whereas others are problematic. (Note to Explorers: be prepared for a wild ride when you hitch your star to a fellow Explorer!)
Ultimately, Fisher's investigation into the complex nature of romance and attachment leads to astonishing new insights into the essence of dating, love, and marriage.
Based on entirely new research - including a detailed questionnaire completed by five million people in 33 countries - Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature's chemistry to find and keep your life partner.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 7 hours and 49 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Audible.com Release Date: January 20, 2009
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B001QCZTPM
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I enjoyed this book and found it fascinating that the personality tests have been used all over the world in different cultures with equal effectiveness. Although I have a long term happy marriage, I enjoyed reading about the different personality categories and theories of the best "matches" of different personality types. The observations in the book were very insightful. I think this book would be helpful to people who are dating to provide insight about themselves and what they should consider in looking for a serious long term partner.
I love Helen Fisher, I've followed her speeches and got to know her while reading Why We Love and this new book did not disappoint. She really knows how to translate more complex biological terms into common words anyone can grasp and seriously can get you interested in science in a heartbeat. Her profound investigation mostly comprises several different theories and makes it easy to relate them to each other.I genuinely enjoyed this book and feel it would interest a lot of people who like well narrated non fiction (by this I mean the experience of reading it feels like she's telling a story that is easy to grasp).
Helen Fisher gives an interesting insight in how we unconciously choose our partners. It is much more than sex, that connects the everlastings bonds between two people that we call love. This book is intended to all those, trying to find the appropriate partner. Fisher even holds a data bank to which you can submit. As she sets proof in several examples, the partnership-data-bank often ends up into a successful marriage. So don't give up. Join Helen Fisher
This book was enlightening and helped me a lot in understanding myself. I now have some insight about others to by things they do and can label them explorer, negotiator, builder, or director. I love the way Helen Fisher writes and the content she produces overall. This book was a great read, and the personality test was good too! I recommend you read this today!
I have lectured about relationships and how to understand people using "Why Him? Why Her?" in my university journalism classes, ordered copies for the campus bookstore, and had students take the amazingly accurate and revealing short form online quiz. This was always a favorite part of my classes because the information is factual, amazingly accurate--and useful! While Helen Fisher's style is breezy and engaging, the author includes statistical evidence and information to make this a trusted treatise on dating, why relationships fail, and why they last. To date, I have purchased five copies of "Why Him? Why Her?", made the mistake of loaning them out, and have never seen them again--the book is THAT good!
She is brilliant. Trust me. Buy it and you will understand the 4 personality types. Making the people you deal with regularly become easier or at least less frustrating. Even Ester Perel refers to Ms. Fischer’s personality paradigm in Perel’s State of Affairs.
I don't know how anybody could consider this dry reading! It is full of insights, great quotes, relevant anecdotes - and is just plain fun to read. Why him/why her - is every bit about our own personalities, as it is why we are attracted to others. Further more, the book delves into different partner personality combinations - exploring the pros and cons of different combos. I found it fascinating and pretty accurate based on my life experience. Thankfully Dr. Fisher is not rigid in her definitions and admits that our personalities are multifaceted - but it only makes sense that we each have a dominant personality characteristic. What's more fascinating, is that she attributes aspects of our personality to certain hormones and neurotransmitters - arguing that our exposure or sensitivity to these body chemicals helps shape and determine who we are... and she backs it up with intriguing anthropologic data. What a great way to connect psychology with medical science. Fascinating!
Excellent book! I'm about half-way through the book and it has helped me become more clearly aware of my personality traits. This is helpful in general but the context of the book is how our personalities interact with the personalities of those we meet, date and have relationships with.However, do not assume that another person with theoretically ideal scores on the test will automatically be your ideal partner. There are 15 questions on the test for each of the four personality categories. 60 questions will only result in a general idea of who a person is. There is much more to our personalities that is not revealed. A lady friend and I have what appear to be ideal scores but we'd never get along in a relationship because of some specific personality traits. So don't blindly read the book thinking that you will easily find the perfect match. But it should be very helpful.Even though I scored highly as an "Explorer", not everything that the author writes in describing Explorers is true of me. So, as I'm reading, I underline what I feel is true of me. A potential partner could skim through my copy of the book and get a good idea of who I am.Keep something else in mind. Although the author emphasizes a person's two highest scores, that doesn't mean that the lower two categories do not apply at all to a person. Otherwise some additional personality traits could be overlooked and they could be important aspects of a person's personality.
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